Thursday, October 16, 2008

Is it bad

I had everything I wanted to say written and what happened it all got erased, I don't know how but it did, and now my mind is clear. I know I asked is it bad if you dread the day ending because it means the beggining of a new one? And the beginning of that new one isn't the adventure it's supposed to be, it's an empty group of mixed up problems. You may be asking what am I rambling about? It's all the problems that I see laid before me, the dreams never fullfilled and not able to make happen now. Why? Because I'm not what I wanted to be, I'm sitting in Utah at a desk instead of on the stage that I love so much. Stability got in the way of the countless dreams I once had, the love of music and art. I can't write, I can't sing good enough, I can't act as good as I wanted. What makes people decide they can ruin your chances at their dreams? Once upon a time I wouldn't let people bother me, what changed what made me so rough around the edges? Who am I, why am I different, where did this outside shell come from, why am I someone other than who I want to be? It's time to open the door of the mind and change that person to the happy go lucky I used to be!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you Jay!!!

Unknown said...

You can always reach your dreams, my friend. Sometimes, God tells you that your dreams aren't what you thought they were and a better dream presents itself.

You are loved, my friend. And your potential is greater than you give yourself credit for.

Give yourself five years and you'll be on the other side of this, smiling at the discontent that you once believed was depression.

Brooke Funk said...

You're going to school for a reason honey... Do what you want with it!
:D I support you 100%