Ramblings of the insane

Hi I'm Jay...I live in Utah with my beautiful wife Brooke-O.
Now that the background is out of the way, I guess You probably wanna know why I started talking...I think I just need a scratch paper to try and figure out why I feel the way I do anymore. Kind of cut off, kind of closed off. Mostly just raw and 6 ft under...There's nothing quite like the feeling of being alive but trying to scratch your way out of the casket you're in...Imagine waking up one morning and you've been buried alive (figuratively speaking of course) You're happy with every decision you've made...But something holds you back from putting that smile on your face every waking moment. You wish that you could make change a decision, but no, its exactly what you want...Except you're broken! How do you heal the wounds of 23 years of womanizing, screaming, and screwing up? It's easy lock yourself in a casket of self pity, loathing, and cold. NO that's not the right answer. You're seeing that every day that it continues. SO what now. Take a DEEP breath and decide its over, and you're GOING TO BE HAPPY...Even if it kills you and everyone else around you! HA HA HA